From the November 2002 Idaho Observer:

In a Perfect World...Vaccine Manufacturers' Package Inserts Would Read Like This:

FluVicide 666
Manufactured by Sorcerer Pharmaceuticals

Description: FluVicide 666 is a cocktail of ingredients that are carcinogenic, mutagenic and controversial. We use the term “proprietary data” so you will buy and administer this vaccine while we remain free from adversarial litigation under “The National Vaccine Injury Compensation Act” of 1986. However, FluVicide 666 does contain genetically altered cells, chemicals, heavy metals, toxic adjuvants and dozens of rogue contaminants that we neither have the time or money, nor ability or concern to remove. Dosage and Administration: FluVicide 666 (and other vaccines) are not adjusted for weight since creating a children's dosage would cut into profit margins. Without the benefit of previous safety or efficacy studies, we arbitrarily recommend that 0.5 milliliters be injected intramuscularly into all people over 6 months of age. We also need to target the old and young for population control purposes. It is important to continually scaremonger the public with propaganda of flu outbreaks and vaccine shortages to keep the demand high and increase our profits. Adverse Reactions: FluVicide 666 can cause death, disfigurement, retardation, autism, all manner of neurological damage, heart attacks, asthma, diabetes, the flu, shortened lifespan, sickness, anaphylaxis, death, false accusations, child abuse convictions, sorrow, tragedy and a myriad of other maladies and behavioral problems. Contraindications: FluVicide 666 should not be given to persons who are unhealthy, healthy or even breathing, especially children or the elderly. However, the risk of litigation does not outweigh the benefit of revenue due to government awarded immunity since we have been able to successfully rely on compulsory/mandatory vaccination laws for profit. Warning: DO NOT use FluVicide 666 or any other vaccine in living persons or animals of any age.

Satire courtesy of Alan Yurko