From the January 2003 Idaho Observer:

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Now that rest of world is angry at U.S., Bush moves to sicken America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last December 5, the Associated Press published the results of a survey sponsored by the Pew Family Trust which illustrated how almost all the peoples of the world viewed the U.S. government “unfavorably.” Apparently satisfied that six decades of pretending to make the world safe for democracy has sufficiently angered nearly every sovereign nation on earth, President Bush announced in the middle of the Christmas shopping season, “Now it's time to turn America into one big oozing chancre of virulent cowpus.”

“We were miffed when fail-safe routine air traffic security systems were allowed to fail on 9-11 to permit the tragic events of that day,” said what remains of the Collective American Mind (CAM). Then Bush told us we must live in fear of chemical or biological attack from terrorists for the rest of our lives because of the war his administration declared on the world after 9-11.”

CAM believes the Bush administration allowed 9-11 to happen so it could declare war on the world and make it so angry at the U.S. most Americans could be fooled into believing pox-covered terrorists will be lurking under every rock. “Under these conditions,” CAM said, “the Bush administration attempted to quietly turn the American people into a bunch of delirious, pus-oozing, bedridden sickees.”

The world's people are indeed angry at the U.S. for what is generally perceived as a massive betrayal of trust. “We always looked up to America as the defender of freedom and protector of human rights. But now we see that the U.S. government is like a priest who preaches the gospel on Sundays and takes indecent liberties with little children the other six days of the week,” said Hans Schmittenheimer, a clockmaker from Dresden, Germany.

Schmittenheimer explained that since Kennedy, he has come to hate, fear and distrust the U.S. government for the way it destabilizes resource-rich countries by supplying both sides of civil wars so it can put puppet “democratic” governments into power. “The U.S. only pretends to promote peace and dignity for the peoples of the world. It really promotes the ability of its globalist friends to go from country to country raping resources under the protection of American military might,” said a seemingly lucid, well-read and Internet educated Schmittenheimer.

But CAM believes Americans are also waking to the fact that their government is really not very nice. “We are onto them now because of the dangerous smallpox vaccine,” the remnant collective announced. “People don't want to get sick or die, government bureaucrats are whining about budgets that won't expand enough to care for a sick nation and doctors, nurses, hospitals and insurance companies are asking, 'Who's gonna accept liability?'”

When asked why the Bush administration would go to such extremes to anger the whole world just to make Americans really sick, White House Spokesman Ari Fleischer said, “I am told the president has a perfectly logical, top-secret explanation, but it's a matter of national security so I can't tell you.”

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